Crate Training.

This is your "Safe and Happy Place" they said.

Yeah, right.

At night they cover me with a blanket 

And I have this.

I feel these Humans are incredibly stupid.

I am not a parrot.

I do not seem to be able to explain this to them.

Vet

Wtf? 

Oh no no no ....I do not like this.

"Vet was followed by "Puppy Training" 

I know how to be a puppy.

Basically The Humans shouted while I was surrounded by a bunch of idiots .

Cockapoo? 

Labradoodle?

Really? 

A very odd looking Lab asked what I was .

Please.

The ignorance!

She had obviously never seen a  Bichon Jackapoo before,

Pleb.

I was knackered after this enforced outing. 

Recreation

The Humans have provided me with " toys" 

Really? 

Living Quarters

This is "outside"

It is cold, and a bit messy, but it's ok.

"Outside"  seems to be a non- negotiable spot every 20 minutes.

I use this time to perform my ablutions.

The humans react very well by clapping and baring their teeth .

Alternative Sleeping Arrangements

I have found more comfortables areas.

Bigfoot has not yet noticed.

My Name.

The Humans are stupid. 

Apparently my name is Darcy. 

I was a girl the last time I looked.

They have provided a bed.

It seems fine , although I could do without the dots. 

Then they added this...dear lord do they have sense of Interior Design? 

It has made me feel quite ill.

They brought me here, the Humans

Bigfoot. I have heard about this.